Geology 303

To: benbubba@aol.com
From: KramerW@aol.com
Subject: Bubba notes

AUSTIN, TEXAS — “Geology 303?”

Yes. Geology 303. Or 306, or maybe it was Chemistry, and I’m not talking about the kind of chemistry between two people, although, that’s what this line leads to.

Yes. It’s a line. I’ve seen my neighbor employ it three times in the last week. His girlfriend is out of town, doing an internship someplace else. So while me and him are out and about, for example, today at Amy’s, he uses this line.

Bubba, enroll in school again, just for this reason. And take something like Geology 303. The funny thing is, the women just lap it up. I’ve seen, three times now. In just the last week. There was a waitress at Magnolia, a woman behind the counter at Amy’s, and the girl behind the coffee counter at the bookstore. I mean, this line really, really works.

“You look familiar,” he says.

(I know the script by heart now.)

“Yeah, you look familiar, too,” she says.

“Geology 303. The lab?” he asks.

“I think so. What are you doing here….”

“Buying [books, coffee, breakfast, etc.]”

Look, Bubba, it is nothing more than an introduction, just a line to get a conversation going. But I’ve seen this gun-shy kid use it, again and again. I wouldn’t have thought it was any big deal, but we had been out moving some furniture around, remind me to tell you the joys of owning a pickup truck at the end of the month, and we were all hot and sweaty, and of course, the kid didn’t have a shirt on, and with an obviously pierced nipple, he looks pretty good. I guess. I mean, I don’t think anyone should pierce anything more than their ears, but then, by these standards, I’m old fashioned. And that’s a different tale to tell. Here we were, standing in Amy’s Ice Cream, and there’s this girl leaned over the cooler, digging out some scoops of Mexican Vanilla. She turns around, and it is love at first sight. Or something like that. I mean, one of those lovely little girls who works behind the counter at an Ice Cream store, as you can well imagine, a pert and healthy look without being too sun dried. Yes, it’s definitely the healthy look. She takes one look at the three of us, we did employ another neighbor to aid in the moving of the furniture, and she does a double take on the pierce nipple.

Insert the line. Now, transpose this event into any one of a number of places, fairly typical in a college town. In fact, just about anyplace wherein you want to generate a random conversation with an appealing member of the opposite sex. I’ve seen it work. If a shy, introvert Virgo can get away with time and again, well, Bubba, you know it’s just got to work for you and I.

Geology 303. Tell them I sent you.

About the author: Born and raised in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel, settled in a South Austin trailer park before trailer parks were cool. He now lives in San Antonio, Texas.