10 Reasons to Avoid Politics

There are three hotly contested topics in Texas. BBQ, sex and politics. Of the three, BBQ is most important.

Apparently that’s not a universal opinion. My favorite book so far is named after an Austin BBQ special, Two-Meat Tuesday. Not what this is about.

Two Meat Tuesday, as found in the astrofish.net/books section.

This is about a single observation about the political environment and the current governor, the presidential want-to-be.

I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Yellow Dog Democrat. It’s hereditary. That’s not the point, my liberal, free-thinking leanings, no, certainly not the point.

This is a simple observation about the current politics. Under then-governor Bush, the rumor mill spouted that, “Perry is gay.” I lived in Austin; I heard it all the time.

I asked several gay clients with super-deluxe ‘gaydars’ — everyone vouchsafed that the guy was on their team. His wife was “A Beard.” Someone had to explain the term to me.

Perry is a Pisces, graduated from Texas A&M. Fact. The rest is supposition.

However, in his long career in Texas Politics, spanning two decades, the rumor that won’t die, about his sexuality, what’s most important?

No smoking gun.

There is not one shred of viable evidence to support the claim.

“I knew a guy who knew this girl who knew someone who knew that…”

No smoking gun.

None.

Nothing.

Nada.

Nunca.

Zilch.

Zip.

In Texas, politics is a blood-sport.

My fellow tree-hugging, socialist, pinko-commie-fags, as I’ve been called, they need to get a new line.

This is what started it all.

“If you don’t vote, you can’t bitch.”

It has to be said:

Humor? Or not?

Politics, v.2:
An unnamed source.

“The rumor started, back when he was Lt. Gov. There was, supposedly, a West Texas divorce in which he was named. The cause of the divorce was because he was named as having an affair with her husband.

“Since then, every journalist has been up and down to all those courthouses.

“No such record seems to exist.

“I mean, if were true, they’d have found it by now.”

I still think BBQ is far more interesting.

About the author: Born and raised in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel, settled in a South Austin trailer park before trailer parks were cool. He now lives in San Antonio, Texas.

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